thursday thoughts

i'm back, blogging world. kind of.
work kicks my butt (not in the sense that it's difficult, more in the sense that it consumes a large portion of my day. i.e. i leave my house by 8, i get home by 5:30/6)
plus, i had been scheduled for 17 hours of softball this week, but if you're in the state of Utah, you will have noticed the mass amount of rain we received (and are still receiving) this week. meaning, softball for the city was cancelled. twice. which is nice, because i didn't think i would get to see friends until tonight, but as luck would have it, i spent last night with them: intramurals: softball and ultimate. in the rain. yes. which leads me to my first "thursday thought".

• last night, prior to the boys' softball game, we were watching the team ahead of them. a batter stepped up to the plate in jeans and sneakers. (not conducive to softball in any weather, but to last night's in particular, it was probably not his best decision, what with the mud and slippery grass). someone pointed it out, i looked and then said "oh i hope he eats it" rather loudly. i turned back to watch and the batter smiled and waved at me. i knew him. a friend of a friend. who i guess is also kind of my friend as well? well, i felt awkward. i turned back around to the guys behind me and said, guys i KNOW him. well, taylor (the batter) slipped a bit leaving home plate for first, but didn't quite eat it as i'd hoped earlier. after the game ended, he walked over to say hi. i related the previous story to him, laughing all the while. luckily he was a good sport about my hopes that he fell in the mud. he then went on to ask "so are you dating one of the guys on that team?" my quick response (which, by now, i'm more than used to giving) was, "no, those are just friends from my ward." after he walked away, i thought to myself, "i wish i was though". not necessarily in the sense that i'm interested in any of the guys on that team (i plead the fifth on that one) but rather, it would make me coming to their games more reasonable. yes, i know we're all friends, and i know i enjoy (and they do too, i suppose) keeping score for them. but really, i'm the only girl that comes to their games that is not dating, married, or engaged to any of those guys. i guess all i'm saying is that it would be less strange for me to be there IF i was dating one of them.
• second thought: i am so.over.this.rain. as i was driving into work this morning, i thought to myself, "i feel as if i'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day". it's the same thing. day after day. incessant. i feel like it is never going to be sunny. ever. again. i just really want it to truly be summer. to spend my nights laying on a blanket in the backyard, as opposed to stuck inside the house watching another movie. i want endless conversations. i want sun kissed skin. i want to wear skirts and shorts again. i'm tired of jeans and boots. (reminder to self: don't wear gray ankle boots to intramurals. 1) they are difficult to run in and 2) rain will soak through them during a very wet ultimate frisbee game which will then lead to you complaining about how cold your feet are)
• third thought: work is going well. i'm learning more as i go along. so far, i'm not feeling too overwhelmed, mostly because i take things as they come. as i was training, it was difficult because it was a lot of information at once. but as i look into things more, it seems like most of my work is spaced out over the month, which will keep me busy, but not overwhelm me.
• as much as i miss california: the sunshine, the access to fun activities, there isn't much left for me there. i didn't see any friends there this weekend (i spent most of my time, okay, ALL of my time with family) and the humidity (which is more than what i'm used to in utah) wreaked havoc on my hair. nah, i'll take utah and it's dryness any day if it means stick straight hair that stays that way for a couple days. and besides, i missed all my utah friends while i was gone. so it's probably a good thing i'm living here. if i could transport them all to salt lake with me this fall, i would. any takers?? :)

a confession

i'm slightly, definitely scared terrified of marriage.

yup.

i said it.

that isn't to say i'm a commitment phobe.

(although, that very well could be true also, i wouldn't know really though, since it's been 5 years since my last "real" relationship)

but really, think about it. marriage.

eternity.

how do you know that the one person you've chosen to spend the rest of, not only your LIFE, but all of eternity with, is actually right?

maybe i've become cynical in the last few years with the numbers of people i've seen get divorced (and at young ages too), but really, that's a HUGE decision.

although i'm terrified of being alone all of my life, i'm doubly terrified of making the wrong decision. 

i'm also terrified that i'll get *gasp* bored.

i tend to get bored, or distracted easily.

something new peaks my interest and i change directions.

(*aside: thank you verizon for your "new every two" program that allows me a new phone ever 13 months. or at least, USED to before the iPhone came out*)

whose to say that the guy i choose to marry won't be a victim of my ever changing personality and tastes?

i know, i know. people will have all sorts of things to say pertaining to this topic.

i've discussed it with many a girlfriend.

i'm welcome to your opinion, but i think until i come to that moment in my life, i'm completely (ok, MOSTLY) content with staying single. and, i'll just have to sit and mull over my distress regarding this topic. i probably won't change my mind until *SLAM* it hits me in the face.

i'll prolong making that decision until i absolutely have to.

and, seeing as i don't even have guys that are clamoring to DATE me, i think i'm in the clear for a time.

thoughts from my cell phone

Rather than wish on 11:11 i like to wish on 10:23. Why? Because thats my birthday. And i have say...its the best birthday. Best time of the year to have one :)

After saying 'i love this song' to every song that comes up on the radio, i think Ive determined that i just love music, period. I couldnt choose one favorite.