songs on my mind

{minus the fact that selena gomez's "love you like a love song" is stuck on repeat right now...grr....over that song} here are some of the tunes that are playing in my head right now, that kind of describe my mood (and may or may not have made me shed a tear or two tonight while driving to the institute for FHE. no bigs, right?)

Adele--"Make You Feel My Love"


Wakey!Wakey!--"Brooklyn"


Gavin DeGraw--"Not Over You"


The Fray--"Heartbeat"


Adele--"Someone Like You" (the one that made me shed a tear, possibly)


And a newly rediscovered song thanks to my obsession with re-watching all the seasons of One Tree Hill:
Jana Kramer--"I Won't Give Up"



{a couple more:}

Christina Perri--"A Thousand Years"


Gavin DeGraw (I just love him!)--"Follow Through"


I'm sensing a sort of pattern here...

thursday thoughts

i'm back, blogging world. kind of.
work kicks my butt (not in the sense that it's difficult, more in the sense that it consumes a large portion of my day. i.e. i leave my house by 8, i get home by 5:30/6)
plus, i had been scheduled for 17 hours of softball this week, but if you're in the state of Utah, you will have noticed the mass amount of rain we received (and are still receiving) this week. meaning, softball for the city was cancelled. twice. which is nice, because i didn't think i would get to see friends until tonight, but as luck would have it, i spent last night with them: intramurals: softball and ultimate. in the rain. yes. which leads me to my first "thursday thought".

• last night, prior to the boys' softball game, we were watching the team ahead of them. a batter stepped up to the plate in jeans and sneakers. (not conducive to softball in any weather, but to last night's in particular, it was probably not his best decision, what with the mud and slippery grass). someone pointed it out, i looked and then said "oh i hope he eats it" rather loudly. i turned back to watch and the batter smiled and waved at me. i knew him. a friend of a friend. who i guess is also kind of my friend as well? well, i felt awkward. i turned back around to the guys behind me and said, guys i KNOW him. well, taylor (the batter) slipped a bit leaving home plate for first, but didn't quite eat it as i'd hoped earlier. after the game ended, he walked over to say hi. i related the previous story to him, laughing all the while. luckily he was a good sport about my hopes that he fell in the mud. he then went on to ask "so are you dating one of the guys on that team?" my quick response (which, by now, i'm more than used to giving) was, "no, those are just friends from my ward." after he walked away, i thought to myself, "i wish i was though". not necessarily in the sense that i'm interested in any of the guys on that team (i plead the fifth on that one) but rather, it would make me coming to their games more reasonable. yes, i know we're all friends, and i know i enjoy (and they do too, i suppose) keeping score for them. but really, i'm the only girl that comes to their games that is not dating, married, or engaged to any of those guys. i guess all i'm saying is that it would be less strange for me to be there IF i was dating one of them.
• second thought: i am so.over.this.rain. as i was driving into work this morning, i thought to myself, "i feel as if i'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day". it's the same thing. day after day. incessant. i feel like it is never going to be sunny. ever. again. i just really want it to truly be summer. to spend my nights laying on a blanket in the backyard, as opposed to stuck inside the house watching another movie. i want endless conversations. i want sun kissed skin. i want to wear skirts and shorts again. i'm tired of jeans and boots. (reminder to self: don't wear gray ankle boots to intramurals. 1) they are difficult to run in and 2) rain will soak through them during a very wet ultimate frisbee game which will then lead to you complaining about how cold your feet are)
• third thought: work is going well. i'm learning more as i go along. so far, i'm not feeling too overwhelmed, mostly because i take things as they come. as i was training, it was difficult because it was a lot of information at once. but as i look into things more, it seems like most of my work is spaced out over the month, which will keep me busy, but not overwhelm me.
• as much as i miss california: the sunshine, the access to fun activities, there isn't much left for me there. i didn't see any friends there this weekend (i spent most of my time, okay, ALL of my time with family) and the humidity (which is more than what i'm used to in utah) wreaked havoc on my hair. nah, i'll take utah and it's dryness any day if it means stick straight hair that stays that way for a couple days. and besides, i missed all my utah friends while i was gone. so it's probably a good thing i'm living here. if i could transport them all to salt lake with me this fall, i would. any takers?? :)

weekly musings

I haven't done one of these in a while, so why not?

• yesterday's warm weather made me REALLY excited for spring/summer. now that i'm a {mostly} permanent resident of Utah/Happy Valley, i look forward to the warm weather (especially now that i know how much fun it is!)
• i was reading my little sister's blog last night and I realized how little i know about her and my brother. the 5 and 7 year age differences probably accounts for that discrepancy. i was out of the house by the time she started high school, so in my mind, she was essentially frozen in time as a 13 year old. High school is really when you become an individual, so I didn't get to see the things she did, or figure out what she was/is interested in. It was quite the eye-opening experience. With my brother on the other hand, I think I've got him pretty well figured out, but that's because he's 1) a boy, 2) the baby, and 3) my favorite person in the WHOLE WORLD, so we spent a lot of time together in the year that i was home. Although Bryce was essentially frozen as a 7 year old in my mind, the time we spent hanging out last year really overcame that mindset for me, and helped me see him as the now 16 (YIKES) year old that he is.
• I promised myself when I moved back to Provo that I would not let myself get into the rut I was in with he-who-must-not-be-named again. Yet, I'm afraid I am (though, thankfully, not with him), and I'm not quite sure how to get out of it. I'm a natural-born fixer, and feel like I have to make everything right, even if the other person doesn't show that they know/feel something is wrong. I can't just ignore it. But I'd rather not mess things up with this person by asking questions and being upfront. Anyone that knows me, knows I can't exactly keep my mouth shut (when it comes to me, personally. i'm a great secret keeper otherwise).
• I want softball/baseball season to start. And I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've EVER said that. In my life. I HATED baseball a couple years ago, but after working a summer scorekeeping softball, I've learned to enjoy it. It just screams summertime. And let's be honest, summertime is the best season.
• We start our coed soccer tournament this week. I'm slightly nervous, since they bumped us up two divisions to D2. I have great faith in our team's abilities (we DID beat two separate teams 13-1 and 10-1 during regular season). However, there are some good teams out there. I just want to win a shirt, dangit! That's all I ask.
• Powderpuff football is Saturday. I'm stoked. I love football. Although, I don't love people that know nothing about the sport, absolutely nothing. I guess it is one thing to be able to understand a game while watching it, it's completely different playing it. But c'mon! Didn't anyone play powderpuff in high school?? Or intramurals? (apparently not, since I had to help explain: routes, positions, plays, how to block, etc) It's fine though, it'll be super fun.
• What else is Saturday? Sham Rock n Roll, of course! I was there for the 2nd annual, now I'm back for the 4th annual, and man, if it's anything like Rocktoberfest was, I can only imagine how great it's going to be. I've got a flip cup team together and we might have some newbies to the squad, but I think we'll be alright. I can hold my own (30 flips in a row, anyone?) The other teams are missing out on not having me with them. ;)
• Thursday marks the 9 year anniversary of Kurt Mautner's death. The fact that I still remember and still think about him all the time shows how awesome this kid was. Sometimes it still saddens me to think about all the things he's missed. When I was in high school, it wasn't such a big deal, as a senior though, I thought, Kurt never got to be a senior. When I graduated, same thing, never got to graduate. College, Kurt never went to college. I am now 6 years older than he was when he passed. To me, that's crazy. To think of all the things I've done (or haven't done) makes me really appreciate life, and wonder what Kurt would have done if he were still here. More awesome things, I'm sure.
• Let's go live life and not care about what people think!

weekly inspirations

or maybe not inspirations.

you decide.

i don't enjoy being sick.

i don't enjoy admitting that i'm sick.

i'm stubborn, and as such, i'd rather work through the aches, sniffles, sneezes than admit that i'm sick and need to go home. (despite the fact that i would LOVE to be back in bed right now...)

staying out late last night (especially while sick) was not my most brilliant move.

although we did have fun:

i "worked" (if you can count a forfeit and a blowout working)

then hurried over to the RB for pain train's waterpolo match.

then went bowling, where i not only won both games (vs 7 other people) but bowled a total of 7 strikes. score!

i also broke 100 both games. not bad for not having played in a looong time.

i say we bowl every week instead of play laser tag. i think i'd actually win instead of lose every time ;)

then in n out. always a good choice (although i woke up STARVING this morning. go figure)

i got SAWEEEEET brown heeled knee high boots yesterday at forever young shoes for...$25. awesome.

i'm in love. and obsessed.

we country danced monday for home evening and i forgot how much i loooove it.

i miss going to borderline with everyone though.

but, there's a group going saturday night that i'll hopefully be able to make

AND they're planning a temple square/country dance night sometime in march.

awesome.

our intramural team played our first soccer game saturday.

we dominated.

but that field is HUUUGE.

half a football field huge.

bigger than that indoor field we play on in lindon.

sure gave us our workout for the week ha.

i have a good feeling about this season.

a shirt is coming our way!

it's that time again...

my weekly musings:

at my job, i'm in charge of setting up orders and sending out searches.

that means i write quite a bit.

not long and extensive, but enough.

i also write a lot of numbers, and as i was writing down an order number today, i thought about which numbers are my favorite to write, and which ones i thoroughly dislike

(give me a break, i've very little interaction while at work)

so, my favorites: 4 (just like that too, because it looks like a ballerina), 8 because it looks like a fat snowman

dislikes: 5. i remember after one summer, i got back to school (this was in high school) i was writing down numbers (probably in math class, would make sense) and i realized i couldn't remember how i used to write my 5s. some people do it all in one stroke, others split it up into two. i wrote my 5 and decided that it wasn't the same way it used to be, but i couldn't figure out how i did it before. and ever since then, my fives have looked pretty darn sad. and retarded. and as such,  i don't like doing it.

i believe that just dance 2 has ruined me (or bettered me, however you want to look at it)

why?

well, proud mary by CCR just played on my ipod and all i could think of was:

1) ike and tina turner's version

2) the dance from that game.

i think that means i've started my goal of memorizing the dance moves (not like it was going to be difficult, i DID dance for 8 years)

i just ran out of wheat thins.

this makes me sad.

i need to stop eating.

last night's soccer game (not our team, but the game earlier) was INTENSE.

oh man.

i kind of wish i was working it (even if it's lindon, not provo) because i would've

a) thrown out the belligerent players

b) called the game after the punch was thrown

that's part of the reason why i love sports.

all the action. yelling. contact.

i REALLY liked my outfit yesterday, despite the fact that my strap broke :(

i also REALLY enjoyed getting the rest of the day off.

what did i do with my time?

ate kfc.

went to hobby lobby.

colored in a barbie coloring book.

helped andrew destroy his brick and find (and subsequently lose) bones for his dinosaur.

did a paint by number that took FOREVER to complete.

{craft hour turned into 3 hours.}

ate costa vida. (FAVE!)

watched soccer.

i'd say it was a good way to spend my day.

granted, i got nothing PRODUCTIVE done, but it was still enjoyable.

weekly musings

pudding cups (and pudding in general) are the bomb.com

where have they been the last 10 years of my life??

it's a good thing my office has 60 in the break room

new glasses are also bomb.com

esp when they make you look dorky

(or like a hot librarian, whichever way you want to look at them)

too bad they hurt my head because they're so tight.

another thing that's bomb?

new music.

well, not NEW per se, but new to my ipod.

(although the need to delete 1000+ songs in order to fit said songs was not so bomb)

i have enough music on my itunes to be able to put half of it on my ipod, and then switch it up when i'm ready to

(i won't do that, but still, it's cool)

thanks to steve and nathan for providing me their ipods to get more music.

i'm always looking to expand my library.

and to get music that i listened to as a kid? even better.

seriously, 5 star playlist? golden.

speaking of golden, i need to delete another 1000+ songs in order to add that golden oldies playlist.

don't expect that to happen anytime soon...

i don't think my car enjoys the cold too much.

this morning, she made funny noises (as if my tires were leaking) as she was warming up.

i worry she's dying on me (cross my fingers, knock on wood)

she's already having a hard time keeping her bumper on. poor thing.

stupid oregon lost the championship game last night.

boo.

let the SEC take over, once again.

i blame it on the coaches.

the players were and are good enough. their coaches made the wrong decisions.

i mean really? you're in the red zone twice and both times you lose the ball?

you're playing like amateurs. like you've never played a real game before.

better luck next year, i guess.

(maybe by then caitlin and i will be coaching and there won't be any more of these issues)

weekly musings

{i've decided that since i've written down some thoughts quite often these last few weeks that i would make it a regular occurrence on my blog. looks like tuesdays are good days for thoughts}

~i miss soccer. and i'm terrible at being a fan.~ 

but let me elaborate:

last night i went and watched the cherrypickers play at lindon. it was strange being in the stands instead of on the field. and i don't think i liked the experience. i got distracted. whereas, when i'm playing, or resting even, i'm focused on the game and know what's going on. also, whenever i watch soccer (no matter what kind of league it is) i always involuntarily react to what's going on on the field, whether that means having my leg twitch in response to a pass or an open shot, or getting much too involved in the bad calls, inappropriate fouls from the other team, what have you. however, i'm also a good fan for the mere reason that i cheer everyone on, encouraging them through all aspects of the game. and sometimes i get far too into it, standing up and yelling extremely loudly (usually, by myself too) which i'm sure embarrasses those on the field, and those that have to sit next to me. i apologize.

~i <3 history.~

my mom got me this book called speeches that changed the world and i just started reading it yesterday at work. some are hard to read/understand/comprehend, mostly because they're old, like, 17th/18th centuries old and i don't know much about the history surrounding the speeches. (and at times i feel like i'm reading from a textbook, and let's be honest, i rarely did that while in school) so it's hard to focus and i get distracted a lot, being at work and all. however, i thoroughly enjoy it and am trying to absorb as much as i can from them. i told my mom that some of them are pretty relevant for our day and the things that were said made me stop and re-think my stance on issues. i'll post some particularly significant ones at a later date (not to rile anyone up, just for my (and your) perusal)

~scarves > turtlenecks~

i thought about posting that on facebook, and then i remembered (1) that i'm trying to wean myself off of facebook (yes, it's back) and use it less often, and (2) it would probably get the wrong reactions from people (or the right reactions, and give the wrong impression). but i'm wearing a scarf today (and wore it last night as well) and i just feel so, well, classy. it keeps me warm, it accentuates my outfit and i can adjust it as needed/wanted. plus, i can take it off if i want to (and it can hide anything that needs hiding. not saying i need it, but just in case, it's there, and it's not so blatant as a turtleneck)

~colton analyzed anna and i last night~

anna and i tend to discuss why boys won't date us, a LOT. she mentioned that colton had told her that she is intimidating. i said that someone i knew had said that i was intimidating as well. we were curious to find out what made us intimidating to boys. colton was nice enough to elaborate: he said we're pretty and confident and know what we want in life, which comes off as intimidating. interesting. he then gave us his 3.5 ways to get a date (with a 100% success rate). as he discussed them, i nodded my head in agreement, because they're such simple tasks. however, i told him afterward, that i felt like i had tried all of those things and nothing had come of it. and he said, well, if you do all of these things and the guy is interested, he'll ask you out. so obviously, that's my problem. i'm always interested in the guys that aren't interested in me. guess i need to find myself a new pool to fish in. so as part of my 2011 goals, i'm going to implement those steps and see if i can't snag myself a date (or two!)

~basketball season has begun!~

january = basketball season (for me, at least). i know it started way back in november, but provo city basketball has officially entered regular season this week. which means, i'll have no social life until march. i work tonight for two hours, tomorrow for three, saturday for three. and i allowed myself to be available tuesday through saturday next week. sorry friends, but i love my basketball boys. if you really want to see me, come visit me at work. bring dinner. i'll return to you all, eventually. maybe once softball is over in august ;)

~my hair won't grow~

and it makes me sad. i need it long. but stupid dry/splint ends are holding me back. i don't want to cut those off because then i'll have taken 2 steps back. *sigh* by june it should be long, well, longer. here's to hoping.

reflections

work is slow today, so i've been blog stalking (since i'm without facebook still. can i make it til January 1st?? let's hope so. i might cave) and checking out photographer's blogs, which reminded me of ALL THE PICTURES i have on my computer currently (and phone) that need to be uploaded. curse me for wanting to prove a point. facebook is not only good for keeping in touch with people, staying updated on what's going on, and stalking, but it's the perfect forum to share photos with EVERYONE you know. sure sure, i could post them on my blog, but not everyone reads my blog. and i have some pretty AWESOME pictures from the week brianna was in town.

temple square

wedding

poliga-date/prom pictures

and then maybe one or two pics from christmas break.

{what can i say? i didn't do much in my week at home}

January 1st, come faster, please??

{which reminds me...i need to start working on my resolutions for 2011. and i need to reflect on my 2010 resolutions. it's a good thing i have Friday off. kind of. it'll give me time to a) look HOT for new years and b) catch up on blog stuff}

other thoughts:

• i got some jeans for christmas that are black skinny cropped. i tried them on, didn't fit. i went to return them, couldn't find them. so i told my mom i would have to lose weight REAL fast if i wanted to fit into them for new years. i put them on this morning: perfect fit. they'll actually probably stretch a bit. so now i've got a pair of KILLER jeans to wear with my grey booties. (which i'm wearing today as well)
• but i really do want to start working out more and getting myself into better shape. i don't mean to lose weight, because i'm small enough as is, but just to tone everything. and make it so i'm not wheezing as i'm running down the soccer field as i was last night. (two weeks away from soccer really gets to ya, let me tell you) so i've gotta get back into playing soccer at least once a week (for the winter, since let's be honest, no one wants to go running when it's 5 (or less) degrees out, with ice/snow covering the roads/sidewalks). after that, well, i've got a free 3 month pass to 24 that i've gotta use, so maybe i'll get motivated enough to use that after work once it warms up more (and once bathing suit season is closer)
• soccer. what a great sport. i had forgotten how much i enjoy it. maybe because it wasn't as fun when i was a kid. i mean, i liked it, but i was never awesome (and really, i'm still not, but i've at least learned more skills in my years since playing AYSO) and playing with just girls is not as exciting as playing coed. because with coed, you wanna show off your skills (or lack thereof) and show the boys a) that you CAN in fact play, b) that you CAN keep up and c) that you're not just a dumb girly-girl (although i don't think i've ever been taken as such. football season? i'm right there with the boys yelling at the TV)
• i really like being in town during the holidays. there's a LOT less traffic. and it takes me less time to: drive to and from work, go to the store (any store, really), and there are less pedestrians to block the intersections. sure, half of my friends are still gone, but the ones that are around aren't bogged down with homework, tests, other scholarly duties. yay! bonus points. case in point? tonight we're going to play laser tag. score.
• i also enjoy having the apartment to myself. although, it's almost like living alone anyway, since my roommate and i have opposite schedules and are rarely home at the same time. but being alone is sweet. i can wake up early and blast music without worrying about waking anyone up, and i can stay up late watching movies (though i don't, since hello, i'm a working girl now and need my 8 hours of sleep to function) without disturbing someone else's sleep. even if i don't do any of that, it's still nice to have the ability to do so.
• i got a crock pot for christmas and it proudly sits on my counter top in my kitchen. i am SO excited to use it. i just need to find some really awesome recipes first. and then find time to prepare said meals in the morning. i just enjoy my sleep way too much to bother getting up just a little bit earlier to do anything about dinner, or even lunch for that matter. p.s. did i mention that it's red? yes. love.
• i got a second crock pot from my father. i returned it. mom's was better (and red!). so instead i got a set of 20 utensils for the kitchen: spoons, whisks, peelers, pizza cutters, the works. i'm excited to use those as well. they are also sitting proudly on my kitchen counter. my apartment looks more like someone lives there more regularly than 20 hours a week. :) and it's one less thing i'll have to register for when {if}i get married. score.
• aside from the taylor swift album that i talked about yesterday, i'm also currently obsessed with the Glee Volume 4 album. it's got my faves on it: mary you, forget you, just the way you are, lucky, teenage dream. too bad my cd player in my car refuses to work every other day. it's a good thing it's on my ipod, huh?
• another christmas gift? Community, season 1 on DVD. i can't wait to relive all of my favorite greendale moments: paintball warfare, christmas spectacular "are you perpetually on your way to the gym??", troy and abed in the MORNING, spanish rap, dia de los muertos....*sigh* so great. anyone want to watch it with me? you're welcome to. maybe we'll have a community marathon. new years' eve after the parties are over? i've gotta stay up anyway...
• i want my hair to grow. now. overnight. anyone know how to make that happen? it's long-ish. but i want it longer. in all honesty, i want it as long as it was when i graduated high school. i've got a ways to go. as soon as it's there, i'm layering it, fringing it and looking HOT. cannot wait.

wow. that went on longer than planned. oh well. sometimes it's nice to get things off your mind. and without facebook, it goes to blogger instead. nbd.

"i'm not a mind reader, ya know!"

some musings for this lovely thursday night:

• you can't tell me 23 hours before christmas eve celebrations that i'm supposed to bring a pie. although i'm a girl of many talents skills, okay, i dabble in lots of things, mind reading is not one of them. yet. i'm working on it. 
• carolers are festive. but as fun as it is to listen to, and as fun as it is to BE a caroler, how AWKWARD is it for those that are being caroled to? what are you supposed to do? just standing there is weird, folding your arms makes you look angry or something, and smiling like an idiot is also not normal. are you allowed to sing along? or is that not appropriate?
• contacts are annoying. so are glasses that are past its prescription. i need new {cooler} glasses.
• christmas bonuses ROCK.
• you know what else rocks? seeing old friends, even randomly. even cooler, having them be REALLY excited to see you. makes you feel loved.

{post-edit}

• you know what kind of really SUCKS? people talking about you behind your back, you finding out, and them not being grown up enough to confront you or ask you about something regarding you, on their own. it's not too hard to ask someone a question like, "hey ______, did you do _______ because of _____?" see? simple.
• boys need to not be so egotistical. hey guess what? girls' lives actually DON'T always revolve around you. NEWS FLASH.