flaws

guys, i know i'm not perfect, i'll be the first to admit it.

in fact, a lot of my strengths, when used incorrectly (or when used too overbearingly--is that even a word??) can become a major weakness, a flaw.

i get it.

i recognize.

oh believe me, do i recognize that.

(living alone for a year allows a lot of self-reflection)

i'm a perfectionist.

i'm bossy (see above)

i'm eager to please.

i tend to think i'm right/i try to always be right.

i hate making mistakes.

i work hard (again, see the first one).

but i really think that the first quality is my downfall.

because i'm a perfectionist (not necessarily at home, but that's a whole other story), i tend to, what's the word....take on too much? stress out? freak out? all of the above?

right now, i'm co-chair of two committees: sports and activities.

sports basically takes care of itself, except for when we actually start playing league.

(i stress out from that. i want everyone to be able to play, make everyone happy PLUS win, but i can't have all of that, so i snap at friends sometimes. sorry!)

activities isn't too bad, just planning and delegating. but then when something comes up in the community within my friends, i somehow end up being the one that has to plan and organize it all.

(today for example, planning how to get tickets for and RSL game tomorrow night when it wasn't my idea. no bigs though, i'll do it. i'll just stress about it the whole time to make sure everyone that wants to be there, is there)

and then at work. i've taken on a second position basically, plus am still playing middle man for several other positions.

and books are out of order for the audits, so i'm trying to organize past stuff as well as work on present issues that come up.

(i could almost guarantee that i'd be able to work 60+ hours this week if they let me, which thank goodness, they don't)

i'm not saying all of this to get pity, or to brag about all the responsibilities i have, brag about how "important" i sound (because i'm not, and i don't think i am. i'm just trying to do the things that people have asked me to)

i'm saying this to a) apologize to anyone whose feet i've figuratively stepped on these last few weeks and b) to warn people that if i do snap at you, that it's nothing personal, whatsoever. i'm just overwhelmed, trying to make sure everything is perfect and running smoothly.

i'm sure that eventually i'll figure out how to balance everything, but then again, maybe i won't. maybe this is my life now that i'm an "adult" (whatever that actually means): constant busy-ness, never enough downtime to sit and breathe and plan out a course of action.

be patient with me.

i'm working on being patient with myself and with others, to remind myself that i'm not perfect, no one is, and that if things don't go perfectly, it's absolutely alright.

i need to remember to take some time for myself. to take a drive, explore the city, take a shopping break, enjoy the warm weather, the sunshine, the sights that i'm so blessed to be surrounded by on a daily basis.

i am so blessed.