welp, I'm back in provo.
it was hard getting here. remember the excitement i felt? yeah, that turned to fear/doubt/sadness the night before i was supposed to leave. couldn't tell you why i felt that way. i know leaving home was the right choice (because i mean really, how far can you go living in your mom's house?) i needed to be on my own again, learn to depend on myself, and not on my family (although i know they'll be there for me whenever i need them)
however, i packed up my life into Stella, drove 10 hours alone and made it to utah. {where things have changed SO much since i was here 6 weeks ago}
it's weird being back, to be honest. i'm not sure what to do with myself since i'm not in school, and i've never been in provo and not been in school. right now it's nice because i'm able to unpack and organize everything, but i've gotta find a job (full time) soon, otherwise i'm gonna go stir crazy. i also keep feeling like i'm going to be leaving again soon, but i'm not. i'm here for the duration. after being gone a year, it's weird living in provo and living on my own. i know i'll get used to it though. and meet new people.
already i've had an intramural football game (which we won on a technicality), watched the boys' football game, gone out to dinner with an old friend, chatted with roommates/friends, and tried to make plans for more hanging out. my life is kind of a shambles, things are coming and going all the time, i never know where i'll be at any given hour, but that's okay. sometimes you need that to see what's really important in life.
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