insignificant

i'm scared.
i'm insecure.
i'm really good at talking myself out of things.
i'm afraid i'm never going to be good enough.
i'm worried about being rejected.
i fear that i will end up alone all the days of my life.



i'm impatient.
i struggle with doing the right thing all the time.
i'm not always a nice person. sometimes i'm mean. sometimes i'm a brat. and sometimes i wonder why i deserve the things i have.
i'm an over-thinker.
i'm imaginative to a fault.
i can find flaws that become deal breakers, when really, they aren't a big deal at all.
i can find patterns and similarities in all aspects of my life, and i worry that my life is repeating history, history that shouldn't (and that i desire not to) be repeated.

 and though i try and try to leave these things in God's hands, it's so difficult, when i think and feel like i should be doing so much more, but i'm just so inadequate.