Thursday, February 3, 2011

Passive

I've realized in the last couple days that I've become passive.
I've backed away from my former self, from the self that used to stir up arguments, stand for what she believed in and was never wrong.
Nowadays rather than disagree, or even agree (whether I believe it to be right or not) I say nothing.
Nothing.
Where is that person? Who have I become?
I'm not an appeaser. I'm the kind of person that does what she wants, when she wants, with little to no concern for what other people think.
Now, if someone says, "Oh, ______, I hate that place. So gross" I won't say anything, I won't say, "Hey, I like that place". Instead I smile and nod, as if they're right, that's the worst place ever.
I back down from arguments.
I've become timid.
Perhaps that's maturity? To say that I don't NEED to be right all the time? That someone else might actually know more than me? That I'm (for the most part) actually THINKING before I speak?
That's a lot to take in.
I'm afraid I'm losing ME.
So, I won't do a 180 and let go of this new me, but I don't want to be the type of girl that lets people walk all over her because she doesn't speak her mind, or make her opinions known (whether or not they're right).
I'm taking a stand once again.

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