apparently i'm intimidating and unapproachable? (at least towards guys) that's what one of my long time guy friends told me. i've kind of always thought it: i'm ambitious, and when people find out what i want to do and where i want to be, they're more than surprised and impressed. and for the most part they back off. but really? do they want me to be boring and have no goals/plans? but besides that...i mean, i know i'm loud and opinionated and i wear my emotions on my sleeve, but isn't that a good thing? you know exactly what i'm feeling instead of having to try to guess what might be going on in my head.
my friend suggested that i just smile at all the guys that i'm interested in, that it will make them feel more comfortable about approaching me. I think my issue is that I'm more shy around the guys i actually do like. that's one part of my life that i don't like showing, mostly because i am not as confident as i may appear, and i do care {a lot} about what people think of me. however, i'm not the best at hiding feelings, so most people will/can figure it out eventually, but initially, i like to keep it to myself. maybe it's the fear of jinxing anything. or being rejected even before i'm given a chance.
so, my new goal is to treat everyone like i do my friends, whether there is any interest or not. because that way, at least i'll have a ton of friends. and maybe something will come of it. i'll be more myself, i believe, and then people can form their own opinions of my true self.
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