i know no one reads these, but i'm posting this anyway, just because i know i'll forget all the things i want to say and i'll be really angry with myself. to the person this is directed at, i will tell all this to your face when i feel like i'm strong enough to do so. right now, i'm at a point that anything having to deal with this entire situation brings me close to tears, and i don't want to cry in front of you. one, because i hate crying, and two, i'm afraid it will terrify you, as well as me.
i'm sorry i'm such a train wreck and that i make things so difficult and complicated. that was never, ever my intention. i'm sorry i haven't been the best or easiest person to deal with. i know how frustrating that is, believe me. normally i'm not like this, and maybe one of these days, when this whole thing has blown over, i'll tell you MY story. maybe then we can figure out together why i'm like this. (because to tell you the truth, i've never been THIS horrible)
i'm sorry things couldn't have been different. because i think it could've been really good, us being friends. maybe it'll still work out. i hope and pray every night that it will. i just need time. i need to rebuild a wall to protect myself. maybe we can start fresh next semester. Lord knows i'll need friends to get me through, and you're one that i'd like to have back again. i'm sorry i overanalyze EVERYTHING. i know i shouldn't and i honestly try so hard not to, but that's just how my brain works. i'm sorry i'm so observant of everything you do, and everything i do, because that only makes things worse. i'm going to try to do better.
one thing i won't apologize for: my outspokenness. i know it gets me in trouble sometimes, but i need it so that people don't take advantage of me. that i don't get walked all over. i will say what i feel and state my opinion everytime. no doubt. if what i say offends you, tell me. i'll try to be better about how i say things, but i will always state my mind. i also won't apologize for being different from other girls. i am who i am and i will never change that. in fact, it's impossible for me to because i'm so stubborn.
i'm sorry i'm so open about everything. it does cause some problems, at least in my opinion. it frustrates me when there are people like you who are so private, and i don't know what's going on. hence the reason for me coming and TALKING to you when things are weird. you don't have to tell me your life story. i respect that you keep things to yourself, but at least tell me when you're pissed, or when i'm frustrating you, or you're confused, so i can change my behavior. i do hold some things close to my chest and in fact, i've only told one other person those things and that was yesterday. however, with everything else, i'm completely open, i'm never fake, what you see is what you get. if i'm mad, you'll know. if i'm ignoring you, you'll know. when i'm sad, you most likely won't know because i don't like being in the limelight, getting sympathy, so i'll put on a smile and pretend like everything's fine.
anyway, i hope this kind of helps. i really do care about our friendship and i never once meant i wanted you out of my life. i said time and time again that i'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all, and i stand by that. even if we don't fix everything before the end of the semester, then i hope we can at least start with a clean slate come january.
i miss you and it makes me sad that i've screwed things up in my life, especially with you.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i'm such a train wreck and that i make things so difficult and complicated. that was never, ever my intention. i'm sorry i haven't been the best or easiest person to deal with. i know how frustrating that is, believe me. normally i'm not like this, and maybe one of these days, when this whole thing has blown over, i'll tell you MY story. maybe then we can figure out together why i'm like this. (because to tell you the truth, i've never been THIS horrible)
i'm sorry things couldn't have been different. because i think it could've been really good, us being friends. maybe it'll still work out. i hope and pray every night that it will. i just need time. i need to rebuild a wall to protect myself. maybe we can start fresh next semester. Lord knows i'll need friends to get me through, and you're one that i'd like to have back again. i'm sorry i overanalyze EVERYTHING. i know i shouldn't and i honestly try so hard not to, but that's just how my brain works. i'm sorry i'm so observant of everything you do, and everything i do, because that only makes things worse. i'm going to try to do better.
one thing i won't apologize for: my outspokenness. i know it gets me in trouble sometimes, but i need it so that people don't take advantage of me. that i don't get walked all over. i will say what i feel and state my opinion everytime. no doubt. if what i say offends you, tell me. i'll try to be better about how i say things, but i will always state my mind. i also won't apologize for being different from other girls. i am who i am and i will never change that. in fact, it's impossible for me to because i'm so stubborn.
i'm sorry i'm so open about everything. it does cause some problems, at least in my opinion. it frustrates me when there are people like you who are so private, and i don't know what's going on. hence the reason for me coming and TALKING to you when things are weird. you don't have to tell me your life story. i respect that you keep things to yourself, but at least tell me when you're pissed, or when i'm frustrating you, or you're confused, so i can change my behavior. i do hold some things close to my chest and in fact, i've only told one other person those things and that was yesterday. however, with everything else, i'm completely open, i'm never fake, what you see is what you get. if i'm mad, you'll know. if i'm ignoring you, you'll know. when i'm sad, you most likely won't know because i don't like being in the limelight, getting sympathy, so i'll put on a smile and pretend like everything's fine.
anyway, i hope this kind of helps. i really do care about our friendship and i never once meant i wanted you out of my life. i said time and time again that i'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all, and i stand by that. even if we don't fix everything before the end of the semester, then i hope we can at least start with a clean slate come january.
i miss you and it makes me sad that i've screwed things up in my life, especially with you.
i'm sorry.
Time winds down as you stretch upward to heaven
His blood resounds as it's not over precursor
They'll paint them red, those things you said.
They'll paint them red, what you said.
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
I want to defend as I hold you so closely to me. to me.
You speak of peace. well how can that be. surround me
I can't believe the pain received and I can't believe what you said
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
And I felt it. you're not fading
I felt it. I'm not fading
I felt it. you're not fading
I felt it. I felt it
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
His blood resounds as it's not over precursor
They'll paint them red, those things you said.
They'll paint them red, what you said.
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
I want to defend as I hold you so closely to me. to me.
You speak of peace. well how can that be. surround me
I can't believe the pain received and I can't believe what you said
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
And I felt it. you're not fading
I felt it. I'm not fading
I felt it. you're not fading
I felt it. I felt it
I miss you. I miss you
And I miss you
I need you. I need you
And I need you more
Can see you. I see you
Can I see you now?
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